


Mouselet's Occasional Column

by Small_Hobbit



Series: The Marylebone Monthly Illustrated [5]
Category: Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Gen, Mouselet is writing, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-21 02:37:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 5,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4811783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Small_Hobbit/pseuds/Small_Hobbit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mouselet has been invited to write a monthly column for the Marylebone Monthly Illustrated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. September

_It has been requested by some of our subscribers that we invite Mouselet to contribute the occasional column to the Marylebone Monthly Illustrated. We have therefore agreed to let her write a monthly column for the next year._

 

I am really very excited at the opportunity to write something for all the lovely readers of this wonderful periodical. I have been told I should be writing a general piece and not concentrating on any one individual in particular. I am sure this will not be a problem.

It’s starting to get colder in the mornings now and there are signs that autumn is on its way. I have observed Inspector Hopkins is wearing a slightly thicker jacket, although he is not yet wearing his winter overcoat. (What? That is a perfectly good deduction, like those Mr Holmes makes, regarding the state of the weather.)

I have also observed this because Mrs Hudson has been complaining about the leaves being trampled in on her clean carpets, which wouldn’t happen if they weren’t falling off the trees, so it must be autumn. (See, are you happy now?) Although my dear inspector is very careful to wipe his feet before he comes in.

I have also learnt about the popularity amongst some for bicycling through Regent’s Park. I understand this is an excellent way for young people to obtain both fresh air and wholesome exercise. I have been able to observe this at first hand, because the inspector too is fond of the bicycle.

He called in yesterday, having taken a turn in the Park. His sweet face showed the effect of the fresh air, which made his eyes sparkle, and his hair looked slightly windswept, being a little more wavy than usual. I am sure the exercise is making his thighs and calves more muscular and manly and I observed carefully the way his trouser legs were hanging just so.

When he came to leave I made sure to creep onto the window sill to watch his departure on his bicycle and took a careful look at his seat. I am sure no man could look more perfect.

 


	2. October

I thought I saw a ghost yesterday. On the far side of the sitting room there was a hazy figure, surrounded by white smoke. I gave a little squeak, but then I realised it was not a ghost at all, but Mr Holmes in the aftermath of what I believe is called an experiment. This was not the word Mrs Hudson used to describe Mr Holmes’ activities, but I am not sure how to spell the words she used.

Later, I heard Mrs Hudson say to Dr Watson, “If it wasn’t bad enough having to make one’s way through the fog and mist outside, without finding it being created indoors as well.” It has indeed been misty every morning and several times we have had fog. It is most frustrating for me to sit on the windowsill and not be able to identify those who are walking in the street.

Not, or course, that I spend all day sitting looking out of the window. But about mid-afternoon I find it very pleasant to take a look, for at that time we do often receive a visitor. Some days will pass and then one afternoon I will spot a familiar figure striding down the pavement and I know we shall shortly be seeing my beloved inspector.

But with the weather as it is, this has not been possible and I have been deprived of my innocent entertainment. However, I am delighted to tell you the weather did not deter his visit and, on the afternoon I believed I had seen a ghost, Inspector Hopkins called in. It was such a pleasure to see him. I felt he looked a little pale, which was not unexpected in view of the weather, but Mrs Hudson’s cup of tea was sufficient to revive him and he soon recovered and his eyes sparkled once more.

Unfortunately, the visit was only a short one. I sat with my nose pressed to the glass to watch him leave, but with the fog it was impossible to see him for more than a couple of paces.


	3. November

I have enjoyed watching the pretty fireworks which have been on show recently, although I am not so fond of the noisy bangers, especially when they are let off in the street. But the celebrations which have been held have provided some colour in an otherwise dreary time of year.

I believe Mr Holmes has been joining in with the celebrations. He came back the other day in what I think may have been fancy dress. The good doctor warned him on his return he should be careful in case he ended up on a bonfire.

This was rather strange, because 221B has been quite cold lately, as there has only rarely been a fire in the grate. This is all the more peculiar since there has been a strange burnt smell in the air for the last few days.

I was very concerned when Inspector Hopkins arrived yesterday, for he had clearly been out of doors for some time and was looking quite peaky. I did not like to think of him being forced to stand in a cold room for very long, although at the same time I did want him to stay, for I have not seen much of him lately.

However, Mrs Hudson, on admitting my inspector, immediately sent the boy to make up the fire. I heard her say to the dear man that she knew he could be trusted with an open fire and would not set light to her antimacassars to ascertain how long they would take to burn.

The inspector laughed at this (he has such a happy laugh) and assured Mrs Hudson he wouldn’t dream of doing anything like that. He then stood in front of the fire, warming his hands, so I took the opportunity admire his strong fingers.

Dr Watson said to the inspector that if his arrival meant they were allowed a decent fire he should come round every afternoon. I echoed this sentiment, but I fear the doctor was not serious. I was, however, very satisfied with the length of his visit, and spent the time reminding myself of all his features. He currently has a light curl in his hair above his collar, which I find completely adorable, but I suspect he will soon have this cut again.


	4. December

Whilst it is still early in the month I am happy to report the inhabitants of 221B Baker Street have begun to get in the Christmas spirit. I have observed Dr Watson writing greetings on cards which he will be sending to friends who live a long way away. It does not look like a very exciting occupation, although the pictures on the cards are very pretty.

Mr Holmes has been doing something with what I believe to be called ‘crackers’. I am not sure if he is making them or destroying them. I watched him take one of these crackers and pull it apart, at which point there was a bang, which made me jump. There were sweets in the cracker which fell on the floor. At that point Dr Watson said, “Really, Holmes, do you have to?” I helped by collecting some of the sweets, which were really quite tasty.

I have also heard Dr Watson telling Mr Holmes they must buy Mrs Hudson a suitable present to thank her for how kind she has been. Mr Holmes agreed and said he was sure Dr Watson would make a suitable purchase. There was a slight disagreement as to whether Mr Holmes should help to decide what they bought, but after hearing the suggestions, Dr Watson said he would sort it out himself.

But the really important (I believe Mr Holmes would say ‘significant’) part of their conversation came next. Dr Watson said he thought it would be a good idea to buy my beloved inspector a new scarf. (Of course he did not say, ‘my beloved inspector’ he said ‘Hopkins’ but I am sure my readers will understand this). And Mr Holmes said yes and they can give it to him when he comes for dinner on Christmas Day. Which means I shall see the dear man at Christmas – I am so happy at this news.

I understand it is customary at this time of year to send good wishes, so I wish for all my readers what I wish for myself, good food and pleasant company this Christmastide.


	5. January

There was a light fall of snow last night and the pavements are now covered, although the traffic in the roads has pushed most of the snow to the sides, where it remains in rather unappealing brown piles. The snow is much prettier when it has fallen on the tops of pillars and railings and catches the light from the street lamps.

I do not think Mrs Hudson approves of the snow. Or at least, I do not suppose she minds the snow itself too much, providing it stays out of doors. I heard her telling Mr Holmes if he wished to pretend to be a snowman that was his entirely his own business, so long as he did not cross her door step in the process.

It is very cold outside and I am glad my inspector has a new scarf to wear. He was dreadfully upset when he called in a few days’ ago. It appeared his constables had found a young woman who they believe had come up from the country with her two small children. They had not been able to find a proper house to stay in and had spent the night hiding in a lean-to. It had been so cold the mother had frozen to death and they were not sure the children would live either.

I too found it upsetting and shed a few tears on behalf of the little family. Even a mouse should have somewhere warm to hide in this weather.

Yesterday, however, he seemed a little happier, for the children had rallied and my inspector had arranged for them to be cared for. He mentioned something about a funeral and the doctor said he would make a contribution. I was not sure exactly what was meant, but I went to inspect my store of treasures to make a contribution of my own. I found a very pretty glass bead, which I pushed onto the table when no-one was looking. My dear man picked it up and asked Mr Holmes and the doctor where it had come from. Neither of them knew, so my inspector asked if it would be all right if he took it, as he was sure it would make the little girl happy to have something so pretty.

I am delighted to have provided the lovely man with a means to make someone happy.

 


	6. February

There was quite a stir in 221B this morning. The post had been delivered and Mr Holmes handed Dr Watson a large envelope. I watched as the doctor opened it and was as surprised as he was when he took out the contents. It was a card, and on the front was a lacy heart.

“I see you have an admirer, Watson,” Mr Holmes said.

Dr Watson looked inside the card, but he could not find who it was from. I had expected him to place the card on the mantelpiece, as had been done with the Christmas cards, but instead he laid it flat on the table and passed the envelope to Mr Holmes, who looked closely at it, before saying, “You are quite right, it is that widow again.”

The doctor sighed and Mr Holmes added, “We could always slide the card under Mrs Hudson’s door.”

I do not think Mrs Hudson would like a re-used card. And I think she will be very suspicious if she receives one from Mr Holmes. She will be wondering what he has just done which she will not approve of.

I should very much like to give Inspector Hopkins a card, but I do not think it would be possible. I had considered making a heart shape with pawmarks, but I do not think Mrs Hudson will be impressed. Although she will almost certainly blame Mr Holmes and not me.

I suppose I could return the handkerchief my inspector lost out of his pocket, but I have been sleeping in it for the last few months and he might not like it back. Besides which, I would miss it dreadfully.

I, of course, will not require anything from him. It is quite enough for me to sit and look at him, his beautiful eyes, his gentle mouth, his strong arms, his perfect fingers, in fact, all of his wonderful body.


	7. March

Spring has come, it grows lighter earlier in the morning and the lamps are lit later in the day. I can hear many more birds singing, and from the windows I can see plants starting to grow again and there are the first leaves on the tree. And Inspector Hopkins is no longer wearing his winter overcoat. This, too, is an improvement.

Yesterday, Mrs Hudson placed a vase of bright yellow daffodils on the mantelpiece. Dr Watson admired them and commented on how cheerful they were. When Mr Holmes saw them he said, “Hmm, of course, I should have thought of that sooner.” And then he rushed out, leaving Mrs Hudson holding his tea cup. Dr Watson obligingly drank Mr Holmes’ tea, as well as his own. And ate both pieces of fruit cake. I helpfully cleared up some of the crumbs later.

This morning, quite early, I heard the dulcet tones of my beloved Inspector Hopkins. I scurried to the entrance of my hole, from whence I could watch him unobserved.

I was rather surprised to see Mr Holmes dismantling the daffodils, at the same time explaining something to the inspector. It did seem a shame to destroy the pretty flowers, and I doubt Mrs Hudson will be impressed with the amount of pollen which has been scattered all over the furniture.

When Mr Holmes had finished he said he would call down to Mrs Hudson for breakfast. Dr Watson said it would be wiser if he went down to collect it, as Mrs Hudson would no doubt have something to say about the demise of her flowers if she brought the breakfast up.

While the doctor was downstairs, my inspector cleaned the table to make room for the breakfast. There was one small flower which remained whole. The darling man placed it close to my mouse hole. I collected it while they were eating, and I believe I saw him smile when he looked at where he had left it, before he once again departed.


	8. April

I am sorry if my article is a little late this month, but there have been many comings and goings in 221B, which I have found somewhat distracting.  It began when Mr Holmes received an Easter card with a picture of a rabbit delivering an egg in a wheelbarrow.  Mr Holmes looked at it and said, “It would seem all is not as it appears.”  Now this is obvious, because eggs are from birds and not rabbits, and I would have expected Mr Holmes to know that already.

But then Inspector Hopkins arrived.  His face was rather pink, and his breathing was fast, so I deduced he had been running.  (I merely mention the inspector’s arrival to show how I am learning to deduce, and for no other reason.)  Mr Holmes showed my inspector the card, which he looked at and said “Charming!”  Both Dr Watson and Mr Holmes looked at him strangely, for I agree with them, the picture was quite silly – I do not go around wearing a bonnet and apron, and the long strings from the apron would have got caught up in the wheelbarrow wheel if the rabbit wasn’t careful.

The inspector smiled (such a beautiful smile, it makes his lovely grey eyes shine) and added, “For a young child.”

“Exactly,” Mr Holmes said, “unfortunately, the message on the back is not one which would be written to a child.”

The inspector turned the card over, and as he read it his expression changed and he looked serious – his manly features showing his intention to deal firmly with the writer.

Shortly after that they all went out.  Later in the day Mr Holmes returned and broke a number of eggs which had been painted various colours.  Fortunately the eggs had been hard-boiled, but the mess was quite enough for Mrs Hudson to employ some of the words I do not know how to spell. 

It was not helped by Inspector Hopkins arriving and accidentally treading on one of the eggs.  Mrs Hudson was obviously very annoyed, and had only just finished telling Mr Holmes this, so she turned and told the poor inspector what she thought of policemen with large feet.  My poor inspector blushed a very charming shade of pink and instantly began to kneel down to try clear up the mess.

Mrs Hudson then said very firmly, “Stand still, or you’ll get egg over your trousers.”

He then looked so sad, Mrs Hudson said much more kindly, “I shall serve tea in my sitting room on this occasion.  Please go and inform Dr Watson, as I can hear him coming up the stairs.”

My inspector departed rapidly and I did not see him again that day.

Fortunately he returned the following day with Dr Watson.  The doctor took another egg out of his bag, but this one seemed to have been made of chocolate.  It was very pretty, for a flower had been drawn on the top with coloured sugar paste.  When Mrs Hudson brought the tea up, Dr Watson gave her the egg.  She thanked him and said she would share it with them, although she was not sure Mr Holmes deserved any.

I tried a crumb of chocolate later, but I thought it quite bitter.  I think it might taste nice if it were sweeter.


	9. May

Mr Holmes claims he can tell the needs of his client just by listening to their footsteps as they ascend the seventeen steps to his rooms.  Equally I am able to deduce the progress of a case by listening to Mr Holmes coming upstairs.

Today the footsteps were fast, indicating good progression in the case, and accompanied by Mrs Hudson shouting his name, indicating Mr Holmes would be in a less than pristine state on his arrival.  I was quite correct in my deduction.  Mr Holmes looked happy as he entered, but the bottom of his trouser legs and his shoes were soaking wet.

It has been bright sunshine for the last few days, so clearly Mr Holmes had not been caught in the rain, or accidentally stepped in a puddle.  Therefore he had deliberately got his trousers wet.

A little later, Inspector Hopkins arrived.  The dear man was limping horribly.  Dr Watson told him to sit down and let him look at his foot.  At first the sweet man was reluctant to remove his boot, but the doctor spoke to him quite firmly (yet in a kindly manner) and he did as instructed.  When he took his sock off, there was some blood on it.  This was very worrying, but the doctor did not seem unduly concerned, so I was relieved.  Dr Watson bandaged his foot and my dearest inspector tried to stand so he could leave, but the doctor said he was to keep his foot raised while he drank a cup of tea.

At this point Mrs Hudson arrived with the tea tray.  She looked at the inspector, and Dr Watson said, “Hopkins went paddling too.  At least _he_ took his shoes and socks off first, but then he trod on something and cut his foot.”

Mrs Hudson looked from Mr Holmes to the poor inspector.  “The pair of them are no better than small boys,” she said.  “I should have brought glasses of milk to go with the jam tarts, rather than cups of tea.”

“Tea will be quite adequate, Mrs Hudson,” Mr Holmes replied.

“Good,” Mrs Hudson said.  “Small boys who leave wet footprints all the way up the stairs do not get given jam tarts.”  With that she took a second jam tart and put it with another on a plate, which she passed to my inspector.  He thanked her with his sweet smile.

Mr Holmes looked quite put out, but Dr Watson merely raised his eyebrows at him.

I sat and watched my lovely inspector until he left a little later.  His foot is a beautiful shape, I only regretted he did not remove his other boot so I could compare feet, although I am sure the other is equally shapely. 

After the darling man had left I scurried down to retrieve a crumb of jam tart for myself, because Mrs Hudson makes excellent pastry.

 


	10. June

I had been sitting on the window sill, enjoying the sunshine and preening my whiskers, when I heard Mrs Hudson upbraiding Mr Holmes about something, so I scampered back in through the open window to see what had happened. 

She was apparently complaining about dirty footprints on the bed sheets.  For a moment I felt guilty, for I do occasionally trot across Mr Holmes bed linen, as there can be interesting things to see, and I have become quite a connoisseur on the different types of burn marks which can be found on a pillow case.  Those caused by cigars are bigger than cigarettes, whilst those from pipes are more scattered.

As it was, Mrs Hudson was telling Mr Holmes not to blame Dr Watson for the mark, since she could tell their footprints apart, and besides which, apparently the doctor removes his boots before standing on the bed.  It would seem we are all becoming adept at making deductions nowadays.

Fortunately for Mr Holmes, there was a knock at the door, and Mrs Hudson went downstairs to let our visitor in.  I was delighted when Inspector Hopkins came upstairs to see Mr Holmes.  The poor dear inspector looked very warm, so I was pleased Mr Holmes told him to take his jacket off.  Obviously, I was glad the dear one would be able to cool down slightly, but the sight of a beautiful man (the Ocelot tells me men are handsome, not beautiful – but I have chosen my words carefully) in his shirt sleeves is most certainly one to be enjoyed.

When Mrs Hudson appeared, carrying a tea tray, my inspector jumped up and was about to put his jacket back on, for he is a true gentleman, but Mrs Hudson told him not to be so silly, as she wasn’t bothered at all.  He does go such a sweet colour when Mrs Hudson speaks to him like that, it is very endearing.  As well as the teapot, she had brought up a jug of lemonade.  She poured a glass which she gave to my perfect man.  He thanked her very sweetly in his melodious voice.

Once she had left, my inspector discussed his case with Mr Holmes.  I did not listen to the specifics, but let his words flow over me, whilst I admired the way his hair had curled where his head had been a little damp.

All too soon, my inspector had to leave.  He covered up his muscular arms with his jacket, and I bade farewell to his broad shoulders which showed to perfection through his shirt.  I am, however, happy, because he has said to Mr Holmes he will return to let him know how his case resolves.

 

 


	11. July

I am glad to see the sunshine has returned after the rain of the last few days.  And not just the literal sunshine, but the metaphorical sunshine (I am an educated mouse) in my beloved Inspector Hopkins’ face.

Although it was beautiful this morning, the dear man was not looking happy.  It was clear a case was bothering him.  He had brought with him some small pieces of paper which he laid out before Mr Holmes in the hope he could help.  It was obvious these were of importance, but even Mr Holmes could not make sense of them.  From my spot by the window sill I could not see clearly what was on them, although there appeared to be a mixture of diagrams and writing.

Finally, my inspector, in a rare turn of anger, stood up and said, “It’s no good, Holmes.  If you can’t help me, I shall go back out and carry on looking by myself.”

This did seem a little ungrateful, considering how many times Mr Holmes has helped him in the past, but I could only assume the case was of such importance the poor man had forgotten himself.  This must have been Mr Holmes’ opinion too, because he instantly said he would go with him, and the doctor merely paused to pick up his medical bag before hurrying out after them.

I watched out of the window as the three of them walked briskly up the road in the direction of the tube station.  I think my inspector was in such a hurry he almost started to run, but the doctor put his hand on the inspector’s arm to slow him down a little.  I am glad of that, today is going to be hot and I would not like to think my inspector is over-exerting himself.

There was a sudden breeze and when I turned back to look at the table I saw the papers had blown onto the floor.  Fortunately they were not there long, for Rachel, Mrs Hudson’s housemaid came into the room and picked them up, before doing the dusting.

I stayed out of sight until Rachel had gone again.  This did not take long, there were very few surfaces visible for Rachel to dust; we are due for another of Mrs Hudson’s visits when she says “Mr Holmes, if you do not tidy up, I shall be forced to do it for you.”

Rachel had left the papers in a neat pile, for of course she did not know how they should be laid out.  I thought I could at least help a little by arranging the papers as they had been.  This was not very easy, because there did not seem to be an order to them.  As I walked over the papers I noticed some of them had a slight smell of cheese.  Intrigued I worked my way through each of them and finally decided to arrange them in order of strength of cheese smell, with the strongest in the top right hand corner, working down to the one which had only a trace of smell in the bottom left.

I had barely finished when the three men returned.  My poor inspector flung himself into a chair and sat with his sweet head in his hands.  “We have only just over half an hour left,” he said.  “What can we do?”

The doctor tried to say something, but I could see it was of no avail.

Mr Holmes walked over to the table and said, “Someone’s re-arranged the papers.”  I hoped this would not upset my inspector further, for I had only tried to be helpful.  Mr Holmes continued to stare at the papers and then added, “Of course!  That’s where they are.  Come, Hopkins, Watson, we haven’t a minute to lose.”

They all three rushed out, narrowly missing Mrs Hudson who had brought up a tea tray.

Dr Watson called, “Sorry, Mrs Hudson, but a life is at risk.  We’ll be back later.”

I crossed my claws in the hope they would arrive in time.

They were indeed back later.  My inspector looked so much happier.  He was clearly tired, and I could see shadows beneath his sweet grey eyes, but the smile of his lips made up for that.

Mrs Hudson had brought up a plate of cold meats.  I was slightly disappointed there was no cheese, but there will be crumbs of the fat to clear up this evening.  And in the meantime I had the great pleasure watching as my inspector discussed the case and did justice to the food.  He had taken his jacket off, and gone so far as to roll up his sleeves, so I was able to admire his muscular arms for some time before at last he departed.

He has gone now.  He apologised for leaving so soon, but said he was tired and looking forward to a good night’s sleep, now the case is over.  I am happy to think I have been able to assist him in a little way and wish him sweet dreams.


	12. August

It has been rather quiet for the last week.  Mr Holmes and Dr Watson went away for a couple days for a case, so we have had fewer visitors than usual.  I had expected Mrs Hudson to take the opportunity to spend the time cleaning the rooms, but after she and Rachel had spent a morning in here, she said, “There really isn’t any point in doing anything else, neither of them will appreciate it.  We might as well enjoy the peace and quiet while we can.”

I think this is just as well, the doctor and Mr Holmes returned this morning and the whole of the floor was quickly covered in various items.  Had Mrs Hudson done much more in the way of cleaning I believe she would have been rather cross.  As it was she merely tutted loudly when she brought up the lunch and warned Mr Holmes if he left anything valuable on the floor and it broke when she stepped on it, it was entirely his own fault.  And if it then left a nasty mark on the carpet she would charge him for it.

Of course, while Mr Holmes and the doctor were away, Inspector Hopkins did not call.  I missed him, but it appears he had been taking a short holiday of his own, and would not have called even if they had been present.  My beloved inspector looks very well.  He has clearly spent time in the sun, for his skin is almost glowing.

He told Dr Watson he had been sea bathing, which I do not think sounds at all safe.  The doctor asked my inspector if he wore one of those ridiculous costumes and he said he did.  I have seen a picture of a bathing costume and I paused to imagine my lovely inspector wearing it.  I did not think he would look at all ridiculous, but rather lovely, especially if the costume was well-fitting.

And now, I must tell you this is my last column.  I have really enjoyed the year I have spent writing for you, telling you about some of my adventures and sharing my admiration for the finest inspector in the land.  I am very grateful to the Ocelot for giving me the opportunity (even if he has complained occasionally about my emphasis on certain subjects).  Thank you to all of you who have taken the time to write in response to this column, it has been lovely to hear from you.

**Mouselet** x


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